Parting is such sweet sorrow.... But now it begins

Well Friday was my last day at work and I was a little sad about it, but the Tribune did me well. They took me out to eat on Thursday to Riverbend in Matagorda and I am sorry to say I never ate there before and who knows when I will eat there again. The food was good and the company was great. I had a real great time. But they also gave me a really pretty painting to take with me. It was beautiful and the message on it was just perfect. Here it is hanging in my new room.

I hung it up right across from my bed so I can see it every night before I go to bed and every morning when I get up and boy can I tell you it's hard to get up in the morning!

So I was sad when I left the Tribune and I was excited at the same time. Then on Friday my family took me to eat a La Casona. But then as soon as they found out we had a party of 16, it became this big ol issue. They were all attitude with us and my mom tried to explain how she called ahead and they told her there was no problem bringing a group that size to come and eat. They treated us like they didn't want our service and my mom was so mad that I felt like she was gonna blow up. So I told her to call K-2 who if they have the room will be more than willing to set the table aside. She called them and yes they had the room and told us it would be ready in 5 minutes so we got up and left. Soon after a waitress (not the one that was suppose to sit us) came running after us to tell us that they now had our table ready. Turned out they had it ready but the waitress didn't want to sit us yet for who knows what reason. So they lost 16 customers and we went to K-2 who I can truly say had the most wonderful waiter and he treated us like he really wanted us there. Now we were a lil bit squished but the way he provided us service, well we easily overlooked that.

The next morning I woke up and had to give Pablo and Diego a long goodbye. :'( I'm really sad about them because they really looked like they knew what was going on. I hugged them and yes I cried. Don't judge me! Anyway the only one that woke up to tell me bye was my dad. I told him I was leaving and he said to be careful, but he never looked at me. Then I was gone. I didn't leave Bay City right away because my friend Esther Solis wanted to have breakfast with me and Susie joined us too. It was nice and it also helped get the sad thoughts away from my mind. After breakfast I was off to Victoria. I was a little sad but I was running late so I didn't have time to really think about it.

So I got here and I still didn't have time to really think about living here because we had a retreat and the retreat was really good. I learned a few different ways to pray one being imaginative prayer which is really interesting and I think is now my favorite even though I fall asleep during it. Still I think it's an awesome way to pray.

I'm getting used to this new house even though I still feel like I'm gonna get lost in here. It is the biggest house I have ever lived in. Anyway, here are some pictures of the house and different statues and art.

Mother Jean de Matel, IWBS foundress.

This is my dining room. It so humongous. You see the sisters reading the paper on the far right?

 

This is part of my new backyard. Sometimes the deer come out to play. I also heard that sometimes the skunks come out too. I just never want to see a snake. I saw a dead one a few months back and well that was enough to last me a life time.

 

This is my new home.

This is the front, the chapel is in here.

Yet a closer picture.

These are the outdoor stations of the cross that they have recently added. There are benches out here which I have already fallen asleep on. Again, do not judge me for that!

Close up of one of the stations.

Beautiful image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Here is the Incarnate Word.

The Blessed Mother.

I like this cross with the many different hands.

I absolutly love this picture of the baptism of Jesus. You see the dove? Much more accurate than the movie The Bible's version of the baptism of Jesus.

 

This is something we are doing for fun. It's Noah's Ark and it's 1,000 pieces. Cooky! Where are you? Let's just say it's taking us longer than expected.

 

Anyway I am having to adjust to having to get up so early in the morning. What happened to sleeping in? I have to be up in time to get ready for prayers at 6:05 a.m., then we have Mass and then we have breakfast.

 

Monday I started my new job at the WIC office. I will tell you the people there seem really nice and they really want to help the people that walk into the door. The first day was mostly orientation. The second day again mostly videos (which I fell asleep thru each one....Don't judge me again) and then they were discussing the phone system. All of that flew over my head and I came back in a bad mood because I never thought I would understand anything and I was so tired. But today was much better. Everything started to make sense and I fell the "ganas" to try it. Bad thing is.... They told me that the training has always lasted two weeks for the people that catch on quickly, they want to release me like Monday. That is not two weeks, that a few days! They say it's because I'm smart, okay but I'm not Albert Einstein, I feel like I need more than 2 days!

 

So yeah, I know this blog is much later than I had initially thought about posting it, but I'm still trying to get used to the schedule here and my time, besides I needs to get my sleep on and that means going to bed much earlier than before. I am also having to get used to my job schedule b/c 30 minutes for lunch never felt so short as it does now. But I am so happy to say that the sisters have given me the hook up when it comes to taking my own lunch. I still have to get used to the fact that I don't know where anything is here in Victoria and that I don't know anyone. I feel at times like I will turn around and see my family or friends and realize that they are really still an hour away.

I found this at the Convent and I thought it was beautiful. It's perfect for anyone feeling a little down.

 

It is hard when it comes to trying to talk to my family and friends back home, because I don't have as much time as I used to. I text them and they don't text back till I'm asleep. The other day our skype wouldn't work and I couldn't skype with Mom. I don't have time to call them like before and well after 8 p.m. here at the Mother House we are all suppose to be quiet so that kind of cuts out phone calls. From 8 to 9 is really the only time I can do things and when people don't get back to me, well I miss out talking to them. They too need to understand that I'm not as available as I was before.

 

Well it is past my time to go to bed. So I needs to get going. Hope to have other blogs up....soon. 

I just got humbled

Well today I will use Susie's favorite phrase and say that yesterday I was truly humbled.

See I guess I was being in a way selfish because I thought my dad really didn't  care about my journey in life or didn't believe me. He never seemed interested to go to the luncheons that I was invited to with the Sisters or even go to my initiations. Lately he hasn't really talked to me or even really looked at me. I took it as well maybe he doesn't really care and it bothered me a little bit but not to the point that I was going to make a big deal about it.

It had been agreed upon that I would give my cats away to other people and my mom would only keep Pablo and Diego. Well Luna my black cat is the hardest to find a home for because she doesn't cuddle, she doesn't want to be around, she just really doesn't like people. I thought my cousin was going to take her and I was okay with that because Luna knew her and she knew Luna's personality. Then on the week I found out I was hired and had to get everything situated she called to tell me that she couldn't take her after all.

Well I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to have her put down, which I thought I may have to do because my mom didn't want to keep her and no one seems to understand that not all cats are the same. So I asked my grandma's provider if she would take her, after all she is an animal lover as well.

I bought Luna a food & water bowl, some food, a litter box, litter and a scooper and gave them all to her new owner. Luna heard the sound of the cat carrier opening and ran and hid, I had no idea where she was so I told the lady that I would have to catch her at a later time because  she hid. She told me well of course because she knew what was going to happen and that all of my cats were going to die after I left and that my uncle said they were going to have a big cat burial.

I guess it is too close to the day that I am leaving and I am just not prepared to hear things like that so I got upset. I tried to hide my feelings and went to the bathroom. Little did I know that my dad had been watching me.

He stuck up for me and started telling the lady that she need not be telling me things like that and especially not right now. That I didn't need to get upset and now I'm in the room crying (he didn't know I went to the restroom not my room) and it was unnecessary. Well the lady started to feel bad and my mom told him to leave her alone so then he told her that it was all true what he was saying and that she needs to learn when to say things and when not to and now isn't the time.

I didnt hear any of this, my mom told me later. We were going to go to Houston to pick up my cousins that flew in from Mexico so my uncle called me into the other room to explain the directions. Well I was inconsolable. I wasn't crying anymore just because of my cats, but I think that it was the stone that brought down the water dam. I just couldn't control myself. I was crying yes because I knew that there was a possibility my cats would die of sadness but also because I'm leaving my life here. I'm leaving my grandma while she's sick. I'm leaving my mom who is sick every other week. It just all came together at one time.

Finally my uncle asked me if I was sure this is what I wanted to do. I said I had no doubt that this was for me. I absolutly know that God is calling me, but it's still sad. I asked my mom didn't she cry when she got married. Then I realized that wasn't a good comparison cuz when she got married w/her first husband she cried because she didn't want to get married. That is not the case with me. But still when people get married, they are happy but sad at the same time they are a little sad and maybe I just needed to get this crying stage over with.

Then my mom told me the most unexpected thing ever. She said well I was thinking of keeping all your cats. Then my uncle said that the cats aren't going anywhere they are staying there. Then my dad comes in and asks what we are talking about (at this time I still didn't know he got after Guelite's provider) Mom asked him if he thought it was okay to keep the cats and he said that well where else were they suppose to go?

Well then I cried all the way to Houston cuz I couldn't believe that my family would make that sacrifice for me. I mean I know my dad does not like a lot of animals and was looking forward to getting rid of at least two of the cats, and now they are keeping all of them. I couldn't be happier because even though it's not me, they know the house and they know my family. They may be sad but at least not stressed too.

So yes I was humbled. Humbled because I thought something about my dad that was so not true. Though he not show me any emotion or talks to me he was still there looking out for me.

I think that was another way that Jesus was telling me everything was going to be okay. He knows I'm going to be a little sad but he made me not be stressed either. Thinking about Luna and Strawberry would have always been on my mind. All their life they have been together and then with Pablo and Diego. It took them a couple of months to get used to my family b/c I got them when I had moved out, and then they were going to be in a new house with people they didn't really see every day. Strawberry would have been with my sister, Maggie, but Luna doesn't like Guelite's provider and doesn't even like being in the same room with her. Now I don't have that to think about and am comforted by it. I'm comforted because Jesus comforted me. Thank you, Jesus.

Taking another step up

 For quite some time God has been calling me to religious life. For as long as I can remember actually but I got the strong urge to follow up on it in 2004. Then life got in the way and I stepped away from religious life - I think I was scared. Scared of change. Scared of spiritual warfare. Scared of leaving my home. Scared of getting into something that I really didn't know too much about. 

Then about two years ago I got the feeling again, but this time it came stronger than ever. No longer did I need a crutch to go visit other communities nor did I feel scared to pursue this lifestyle. Maybe it's because I matured in my way of thinking and my spirituality that I was able to walk with faith that I was no longer scared. Nervous yes, scared no. 

I got the courage to reach out to people and ask for help to go to retreats where I know I don't drive (Houston). And got the courage to reach out to unknown territories with the trust that the Lord will help me if that is where He wanted me. 

I listened to Him when He told me to start looking for employment in Victoria even though I had thought I would not be moving until the ends of May. Yet I applied to two different jobs and ended up getting one. What is funny about this job is that I applied and didn't think I would get the job being that they didn't call me when the posting closed. I also didn't think I had a good possibility being that I would have the job because I would be there only temporarily, if I kept going the way I was going, in about three years I would be a novice with the Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament sisters and as a Novice I can no longer work. 

Yet it turned out that I always had the job. I was the top candidate since the start and the other applicants didn't even come close. (These are their words, not mine. I'm not that conceited, I actually thought I had some tough competition!) But the Lord had told me to apply at the time that I did because that was the job He had chosen for me, there is no other explanation in my mind for it. 

  So now I have to get everything ready to move to Victoria. I should start my new job the 15th of this month. I can't believe that it's happening and I'm still a little nervous about it but I am not scared. I feel like all is going to be okay. I really hate the fact that I have to leave my family and friends but I know that I'm doing the right thing. It really really breaks my heart to leave my cats. They have been my best friends for five years. I know they are going to miss me and I will miss them terribly. 

It's also very coincidental that all this is happening right after Lent. The reason I say this is because what gave me courage back in 2004 to go out and look for religious communities was watching The Passion of the Christ. I have always been drawn to the Suffering Christ and Our Lady of Sorrows, always wanting to have been there to comfort them at least a little bit during their darkest hour, so Lent has always been very special to me because that is the season we walk with Jesus in a closer deeper level. 

See Jesus knew that His journey was going to be hard and that He would suffer but He still did it because He loved us so much. I feel that I may be sad, this journey may be long and hard and maybe I'll suffer (not anything compared to what Jesus suffered) but I love Him enough to do it. I believe He knows that I am strong enough to handle this journey otherwise He wouldn't have kept calling me. So yes I will give up what is of this world and follow Jesus, even if that includes my cats. 

I also have much faith in the Blessed Mother. One thing I remember a lot in the movie The Passion of the Christ was her willingness to try to comfort others even though her heart was breaking into many little pieces. Or as it was predicted, it was as if a sword was piercing her heart. If Mary would comfort other's during her most heartbreaking moment, then she will be there as a comfort for me when I need her to be. 

Near the end of the movie, when Mary held Jesus I remember her looking out toward all of us as she held Him with a look that said, "Look what He did for you, what will you do for Him?" I never had an answer for her. I thought maybe by volunteering so much in my parish would be considered enough even though I knew He was calling me to something greater. Now that I am in the process of doing God's will not only His works, I can look back at Mary in this image and say, "I know, I understand, I'm coming to help."


Still to say that I'm not going to struggle is a lie, I know I am. The closer you try to get to God, the harder the road gets. Everything seems to fall all around you and everyone tries to bring you down. The devil works hard to make sure God's army is not as strong as he thinks his is, but I know that if he tries hard to stop someone from doing God's will it's because God has a special task for them. 

But I know that I have help. I rely on Blessed Mother because I know she is willing to help me. And I trust in the Lord, I know He wants this for me. 

I know that it's going to be hard too because I may trust in the Lord to handle my life and to get me where He wants me, I have trouble giving myself fully over to Him. I want to hold on to that final little piece of me for some reason. I guess so I will have a little bit of me to fall back on in case for some reason I need to. I have trouble allowing the Holy Spirit to come over me and let myself rest in the spirit. Several times I felt it coming and I pushed Him away. I am a little scared of letting go completely but I guess if I didn't have anything to work on I would already be in Heaven. 

So yes I have taken another step to get to where Jesus wants me, I know I still got a long way up the staircase but as long as I'm moving toward the top, I know I will get there eventually. 

Goodbye to the Famous and Infamous

            It seemed like recently we have been losing famous and one infamous person from the world.

            First on August 25th we lost Neil Armstrong. I have to make sure I get that date right because I was reading online how different news stations got information wrong about Neil Armstrong, one even naming him Neil Young. The reason they stated they got that information wrong was because they had already written an obit as they knew he was getting there in age and they didn’t want to have to write one on the spur of the moment when he was to pass away. That is a good idea, but they forgot the most important rule in any news agency whether its print or television -  PROOF READ!

            So a lot of people got a kick out of the mistake even though the Neil Young mistake was up for only five minutes it goes to show how many people will see a mistake when it’s out there. So many people tell us in the newspaper world that no one looks at our paper, I would like to challenge them to place an ad with a mistake and their phone number on there, lets see how many calls they would get.

            Yet of course I never met Neil Armstrong, but I grew up always hearing about him and always seeing that video of him jump stepping on the moon which I always say is one of the most inspiring and proudest moments in Unites States history. He was already in our history books but now he has left our world. He will be missed.

            Another famous person I will miss is Michael Clarke Duncan who we lost on Labor Day; he was the gentle giant from the Green Mile. I always liked him but that movie made him shine. He was one of the few actors that I would really like to have met in person and actually have a conversation with him. He was not always an actor, instead he was first a bodyguard and his physique was made for that. He was huge and full of muscles, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be intimidated by him, but you could tell he was still a good guy inside. He was one of them actors that if you were to meet him on the street, he would greet you and he never forgot where he came from. He will be missed a lot by Hollywood and by us.

            And the last person whose death I read about was the infamous Griselda Blanco who also passed on September 3^rd. She was knick named the “cocaine queen” and the Godmother and in the mid 70’s and into the 80’s she was the one bringing in a lot of the cocaine from Columbia into the US and was living in Miami. She was ruthless as killed whoever got in her way. Yet when I say kill, I mean she had killed. She would pay hit men to do her dirty work. She is given credit for pretty much inventing the drive-by shootings by motorcycle – and guess how she was killed? A man on a motorcycle gunned her down as she came out of a butcher shop, now that is karma. Still I think about her, she was already a lady of 69 years old, yes she had done some horrible things in her life but she was out of the spotlight for many years already. I guess there are times that no matter what our past will catch up with us.

            Every decision has its consequences and Griselda chose the bad life while she was younger, she had many people killed and made many enemies and unfortunately some people don’t forget the past. It’s sad because she did have a bad childhood where her mother forced her into prostitution while she was a little more than a child. Later she chose to continue prostitution away from her mother, but in a poor country there isn’t much opportunity for an uneducated woman. Later she went into the drug business and there she flourished but that was a bad decision. She seemed to be a good businesswoman, she could have been another kind of legal businesswoman, but she chose to go into the “dark” side and then it came back probably when she thought she was safe and bit her on her backside.

            From the wise words of Tyler Perry’s Madea, “There comes a time where we have to stop blaming our past for the decisions we make in our future.” What happened in the past stays back there, we have to let it go to make sure that we survive and continue our lives. She may have had a bad childhood, but she chose to make her adulthood a bad one and sadly she paid for it.

            Still these are three people that have left an empty spot in this world, and even though there is no question that Neil Armstrong and Michael Duncan will be missed by many, I’m sure Griselda Blanco’s family and friends will miss her too.

My Life Without Facebook so far...

So I had told my friends on Facebook that I was going to keep a log on how I felt and what was going on through my life while I was off of Facebook for Lent. Yes I gave up Facebook for Lent and it was hard the first couple of days but I don't even miss it too much anymore. So for my friends that may see this here it goes :D!

February 21, 2012

5:15 p.m. About to go walking with cooky and Jess. Last day of Facebook...

6:44 p.m. Walked two miles without Xena being too crazy. I am tired!!!!

11:16 p.m. Guelite fell down hard just a lil bit ago, fell through my door breaking its hinges. Scared me and the cats to death. It was all loud but somehow the guys didn't hear it when they like just across the hallway. Hmmm idk but I wish I could sleep through noise like that! Me and mom had to pick her up by ourselves. Gotta say I've gotten stronger!

February 22, 2012

12:20 a.m. So Lent just started and so have the temptations. Keep thinking I can just peek once at my Facebook but I know I musn't b/c that would ruin everything. On another note... Why Pablo think he can be part of my altar? Well I guess who wouldn't want to sleep among the saints.

8:02 a.m. Last night I kept dreaming I was on Facebook but by accident. Like other people would show me theirs and then I would look on my page. Pretty funny stuff. Cooky says its because I was obsessed with it. Maybe that's true.

1:39 p.m. So I really wanted to get on Facebook to talk about how crazy some people that call us can be, but I didn't. You know I think about Facebook a lot, I wonder if people miss me. I know its only been one day but still. Glad Jess is off the 40 days with me at least I know I ain't doing it alone. Now I'm sitting at the doctors office. Am I the only one that wonders why they take so long to see you if u just heard them talking in the hallway?

8:48 p.m. Didn't have any help at ccd today and I had to take seventh grade in my class too!! Was very hard and I wanted to walk out a couple of times. It was so loud and my class was so intimidated by them. Bad idea, hope next week is better. 

9:35pm - how are we suppose to go to our room and pray with so much madness going on in the other rooms? 

11:26pm - first day wasn't that hard. I think I would try to look at my Facebook more as a force of habit than b/c I wanted to know what was going on.

February 24, 2012

1:26 p.m. - So idk what is up with me. Ever since I almost rested in the spirit at mass on ash Wednesday I see things differently. Yesterday I didn't get mad at Pablo for breaking my Mary that I have had since I was in elementary!! I got sad but I didn't get mad or cuss like I might have before. Today I went to pay off another bill... A big one! And the lady told me I was gaining weight. Ok first I'm losing, second how rude to tell a customer that and third what if I had self esteem issues. I could have gone killed myself or became bulimic or something. Anyway before I would have gotten so hurt and mad but today it didn't even bother me. I didn't even get mad! I was like the duck that I always tell people to be. Then upon further contemplation of the matter at hand. Maybe that was the red man trying to hold the brown girl down b/c I'm one step closer to paying off all my bills. Anyway I still miss Facebook at times but I do see now how much time I was spending on it and how much it was clouding my daily life. I can fell the presence of God so strong it's awesome!!!!

5:47 pm - Well it is well said that catholicism is the last accepted prejudice and for good reason. People are allowed to mock our faith and we just have to take it. U know being a Christian is a lot more than just believing in Jesus, after all the devil believes in Jesus. We have to commit ourselves to Him and to living how He taught. Jesus taught us not to judge so how come so many people (Christians) judge us for being Catholics? Why do they judge or mock our seasons, especially lent? U know Jesus said judge not so u shouldn't judge ur fellow Christian and yes Catholics are Christians, we are the original Christian church so before people mock us they should question themselves why are they mocking us when their church branched off of ours? We are 2.5 billion members and growing, I would think that shows how we are doing something right. So u think giving up meat on Friday's is stupid. Well I believe sacrifice is needed in our lives to keep us in check and keep us from being greedy and keep us humble. After all what did God give up for Lent? Himself. So yeah we can give up meat on Friday's, we should do a lot more. Never judge a faith u don't understand. Instead ask questions so u will understand. And if u must judge or mock a faith, choose satanism, I mean why would anyone want to worship a god that hates them? And after u get all that judging and mocking out of ur system, reach out to them and bring them to the God that loves them. Would u mock ur mother or judge her? Then don't mock the mother church b/c she is ur faith's mother no matter how far it has strayed from her.

7:23 pm - Mom called me to the room to ask a question about someone on Facebook while she was on Facebook! How rude! But I waked out and told her she knew I wasn't suppose to be on that! Shoot huh! That's strike two for the red man...

8:33 pm - too much tude in the living room and I'm in too much pain, came to my room to chill.

February 25, 2012 

3:10 p.m. - So started off this morning watching King Kong with mom and trying not to laugh when she cried. Then I took B12 and can't stop the beat! Haha!! Then I burned my stomach with hot water from boiled papas - not good, but we getting ready to celebrate Guelite's birthday.

9 pm - We are winding down from Guelite's birthday. We had quite a bit of people show up and we had a lot of food left over. Guelite liked the blanket I got her a lot. The B12 was awesome, barely coming off of it now. 

February 26, 2012 

8:57 p.m. - So I have to ask myself if helping people on Facebook is the same thing as being on Facebook. I have so many people asking me questions about it and I want to help them but I think that would be cheating. Giving up Facebook has been good for me, I have had more time to do things like read the bible than before. My birthday is in a week, hope all is good ;). All I want are shoes, Hehe 

9:58 pm - The best boxer of all time... Hands down is... Rocky Balboa! 

10:30 pm - He who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells under the shade of the Almighty. He will say to the Lord: “You are my shelter and my strength, my God, in whom I trust.”

February 27, 2012

2:41 p.m. The Medjugorje Message, February 25, 2012 “Dear children! At this time, in a special way I call you: 'pray with the heart'. Little children, you speak much and pray little. Read and meditate on Sacred Scripture, and may the words written in it be life for you. I encourage and love you, so that in God you may find your peace and the joy of living. Thank you for having responded to my call.”

February 28, 2012 

11:44 a.m. - Well yesterday I was sick all day long. Ate too much beef over the weekend when I know I'm not suppose to. I felt terrible yesterday but Daddy made me some of that tea and I feel better today. This morning I found out one of our cell phones was going to be charged $400 for data fees I almost died. But it all worked out in the end and he will only have to pay $40. Much much better. Now I'm on the way to Houston again and see that stupid liver doctor that blames all illness on weight. 

3:08 pm - I was praying the whole time that mom gets good news at the doctor and she did. She has to loose 50 lbs and there is a very good chance her liver would fix itself. So now we gotta get her on a diet and we have high hopes. I know I was praying for it but its just awesome to receive the blessing as well. 

6:50 pm - I'm so sleepy right now. I can't stay awake wish I could take a nap. Need a coke!!! 

February 29, 2012

1:08 pm. - Lord God, help me to recognize my sinful ways. Help me to free myself from the bonds of Satan It is through your mercy and goodness that I am set free. 

2:22 pm - I woke up with a bad migraine this morning so I took imitrex but it didn't work but this time my face feels funny and I can't feel parts of it. My heart is racing and I'm shaky. I also can't carry long conversations. Cooky wants me to go to the ER but I know they won't help me, but if it gets worse I will. It always happens on a Wednesday when I got ccd! 

5:50 pm - so it turns out everything I was feeling was side affects to the imitrex. First it don't work second it makes me feel crazy. Don't know if I want to keep trying that. Now I gotta go to ccd and once again I gonna have both sixth and seventh grade. God help me! Good thing Susie gonna go to calm everyone down. 

March 1, 2012

7:03 p.m. - Karla: what are Catholics? Me: we are Catholics. Karla: I thought we were Mexicans. Haha!!!! 

8:58 pm - had fun with the girls and Susie ay Pizza Hut it was such a relief from everything. Seeing the girls act silly and teasing alexis about the waiter was priceless. Then singing the Barney I love you song to our pizza or chicken wing was the beat. I bet the other people around us thought we were crazy. It was a lot different from yesterday when my headache made me forget the Hail Mary and Glory Be at church. I've been praying those prayers since 2nd grade every night and that doesn't count the many times I pray the rosary. Can you imagine how stupid I felt to have completly forgotten those prayers? I still can't talk clearly and my head still hurts but like I heard an angel named Hermana Glenda say: de que tengo miedo? Sí nada es imposible para ti? What am I afraid of if with God nothing is impossible? I can come out of this and I know God is not done with me yet so He will help me through this. 

March 2, 2012 

5:42 p.m. - The Medjugorje Web http://www.medjugorje.org Our Lady's message to Mirjana Soldo of March 2nd, 2012 "Dear children; Through the immeasurable love of God I am coming among you and I am persistently calling you into the arms of my Son. With a motherly heart I am imploring you, my children, but I am also repeatedly warning you, that concern for those who have not come to know my Son be in the first place for you. Do not permit that by looking at you and your life, they are not overcome by a desire to come to know Him. Pray to the Holy Spirit for my Son to be impressed within you. Pray that you can be apostles of the divine light in this time of darkness and hopelessness. This is a time of your trial. With a rosary in hand and love in the heart set out with me. I am leading you towards Easter in my Son. Pray for those whom my Son has chosen that they can always live through Him and in Him – the High Priest. Thank you." I've been sick all day today too. Not only did I get a migraine a few minutes ago but I had horrible side affects to a new pill I took last night. I've been horrible all day, its hard to make sure at all times a restroom is close by. 

March 4, 2012

12:02 a.m. - So today is my birthday. Yesterday I went to Blue Ocean for my biryhday and Cooky and Susie invited my friends without me knowing. It was so awesome!!! I had a great time and that was because I was so tired because I was moving all my stuff into another room. But seeing everyone gave me more energy. I liked taking pictures with everyone and acting like we were lost in the desert. I got a bunch of neat things and a lot of things I wanted. Didn't need to get chonies from Xena at my party though!! Haha! But I still think that today will be one of my most memorable birthdays. Each year cooky and Susie try to surprise me, each year I figure it out. This year I kinda was getting the hint but I was not sure. And when we got there and I didn't see any cars that I recognized except Susie's I thought maybe they didn't invite other people after all. Then inside I saw the party room all dark and the lady telling me that they were expecting a lot of people so if we could go into the room, I said sure but then I really started to think no one came or was invited and then I saw everyone. It was awesome ;) 

March 5, 2012

5:59 p.m. - Wow my St. Cayetano is done, now I just got to make copies of his prayer and take him to the church. He is beautiful. So I bring him home and hang him up until its time to take him to the church and mom tells me to go to HEB, well I hate going to HEB so I begin to argue with her about it and St. Cayetano flies off the wall. It was crazy!! Guess he said no arguing while he is around. And I'm gonna have to say sure man no problem.

March 6, 2012

5:19 p.m. - Wow today was such a busy and angry day. I spent so much of the day mad at everything, I was so mad at my dish place because they can't ever get my stuff right. I was mad because I may not be the best volleyball player in the world and I know that I have not been practicing but I get mad when some make comments about my playing style. I have such a busy day today and it is not over yet. I feel like I am too busy all the time but I don't know how to slow down!!